Intricate Balance and The Sit Around and Wait For Happiness

It's a wide known fact that when a part of your life is going great, the other one falls to pieces. Is this REALLY true? How many people feel that way?

Although my love life (yes, I now have one) is going marvelously well, I have been a bit disappointed with my work life lately. It's not so much for the obvious reasons, but BECAUSE of all those reasons and so many more that have been there so long, I am slowly but surely falling out of love with my job. I've always felt that if you're not happy with what you're doing and not going to work with a positive mindset, it's not worth it at all.

My lifestyle might change fairly soon, I just wish it wasn't for the obvious circumstances, and if I do move on, I want it to be with no regrets or bitter memories of my last four years.

Wish me luck. As they say, "I love you but I'm not IN love with U."

Blaaagghhhhh!

I'm a terrible blogger. I have no consistency whatsoever. Much like other things in my life. I can't begin a project and end it. I've never gone on a diet, given up something for lent, shit! I haven't even attempted to quit smoking because I know I won't do it.

Is there something wrong with me? I can't commit to anything at all.

It scares me though. I've just begun my first real relationship in 6 years. Six years! Who the hell stays single for that long?! Lol. I honestly thought it was going to be very hard to come to terms with the fact that even though I'm not married nor have kids, I need to be considerate of someone else when I get the whim to just off and do something. Luckily, nothing's changed so far. I thank my lucky stars that not only is my boyfriend everything I've ever wanted:
(Intelligent, witty, responsible, motivated, not jealous), but he doesn't pressure me at all.

I wonder if it's because I laid the rules out extremely clear before we went into this, or if he's the same as me. In any event, it's working out very well so far and even though I get ahead of myself sometimes, thinking I'm gonna blow it cuz I'm just not good at being in a relationship, the fact that he's such a good guy makes me not worry about it too much.

This is a good thing, and even though I am the most noncommitted person I know, I have a really good feeling about him.

Happy Monday!

At least for me it is.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank God for giving me another day of life and for giving me the strength to wake up each morning with a smile on my face and looking forward to the day. I'd also like to thank Him for giving me the ability to love, understand and have gratitude for my situations/life.

I guess the times I see this most is how much my family and coworkers dislike what their doing and let it take on a negative toll. Why can't we try to see the bright side of things?

Don't get me wrong I'm not always a little ray of sunshine, I have my days just like anyone else, but I'm quick to stop and think of the good things, and I wish I could get people to see that as well.

Happy Monday to everyone, make the best of your situation, thank God even for the little things, and always remember there's always someone who has it worse than you and wishes that for a second they could have your blessings.

~Edie

Summer Update: The Procrastinator Returns!

Sooo guess what?! I finally got a dog!!! I've had my baby for 3 months now and he is just an adorable little thing!!!!





Meet Rhett Butler, the Schnauzer pup! Rhett loves frolicking outside in the backyard, chewing on grandma's flowers and nipping on his momma every chance he gets! Seriously, he only bites MY hands and no one elses, I can't get him to stop! Lol, I need to learn ASAP before it becomes more painful :S


So whate else is new ? Of course!!!! Summer is here!!!! The best thing about summer guys is the concerts and the blockbuster movies that actually make us welcome the scorching Laredo heat!

What to expect this year?! We've got the all too anticipated Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince as well as Transformers 2!!!!! On the concert side, Coldplay *yes you heard right* COLDPLAY is coming to San Antonio this week and Laredo will finally get a good dose of rock that wasn't hot in the 70s! Lol no offense to classic rock, I just feel we need more variety! Staind will be rocking the LEC along with Chevelle, Shinedown, and another band I can't remember. Either way, it's going to be as the kids say...EPIC!

The big tour I'm looking forward to this summer is Tool!!!!! Tool will be at the ATT Center in San Antonio this 24th of July! I was more than privileged to see A Perfect Circle twice before they broke up but this will be my first Tool experience and I can't wait for it!!!!

I'll also be attending the Incubus summer in August in Dallas, which means an even bigger roadtrip and more memories to come!

Stay tuned, I'll make a sincere effort to update more often!


XoXo,

Edie

Scared Shitless

So, I didn't get to make the trip to Washington for work like I had hoped. Even though I am disappointed, I'm not altogether that surprised. I knew they'd never send me. Instead, my supervisor is going as well as our head honcho's right hand man. They're both very knowledgeable on the material but I know I would have made a perfect addition to the trip. No I'm not trying to toot my own horn but, I've put lots of sweat and hours into learning my way through that system, figuring out short cuts, things that will help us be more efficient. I know that system more than the people who use it on a daily basis and SHOULD learn to make it work for them, yet I guess that's not enough.

To make things worse, like any other company, ours is taking precautions and adjusting with these hard economic times. Our salaries were frozen and our evaluations were put on hold. Yes, January was my anniversary date and the time I should have had my evaluation. A month later, no eval, no raise. Excellent.

The great thing about this situation is, they're very open to shifting people around to accomodate open positions or those that are about to open due to people who are not up to par in performance. This is where I come in. I had already shown interest in two other departments and am being considered. As much as I love my department, I'm ready for this, ready to give my all to another part of my beloved company. The only other thing is, so is another girl.

She's been here twice as long as I have, is considered one of the best employees in the company yet has no motivation to do anything other than her assigned job, even as she's being offered higher positions within the company. Now that there's a shadow hanging over our jobs, she seems to show interest in other departments. I can't say that I know for a fact that it's because there's a threat of unemployment thick in the air, but, it makes me uneasy.

I'm not afraid, I know what I can offer. I just wish others would step up and show what they're REALLY made of.

Eat the foooood!

So today is my mom's birthday and she's turning 51. Now, I'm kind of a deadbeat daughter so all I did was take her to get her hair done and I'll be cooking dinner for my family tonight. I'm no cook so luckily, this recipe is fairly easy. *phew* I don't have a picture of her on here and I can't get on myspace, but I look a lot like her. Both me and my sister do. Except Lulu, who is the spitting image of her dad. Hmm...I think I'll still get her something when I get paid. Maybe flowers,my mom loves roses.

I should get back to work, I'll bbl.

P.S. This is the flyer Syl made for my bday next week. Told you I was a deadbeat, I plan my own birthday bash but not my mom's :( In my defense, my party is at a bar. :P Laters.

Captain's Log: Supplemental

I am way too old for this shit! Lol I pulled a little maneuver this past week where I decided to party my ass off four days in a row, two of which were work nights.

I am EXHAUSTED. My pores are seeping alcohol :P I did DAS BOOT. I didn't puke after DAS BOOT which is an incredible feat. All in all, it was a great weekend, I probably had about 40 shots with all those days combined and NO I'm not exaggerating. Not to mention the countless beers. I can barely hold up right now but hey, better now than 20 years down the line right? Lol let's see how long I can keep telling myself that with a straight face.

Oooh mommy look a puppy!!!

Even though my mother doesn't think so, I think I'm ready to be a pet owner. Okay so I know I get into my crazy whims where at one point I even wanted a persian cat *bad idea* 1. I don't like cats 2. Those suckers shed like mad and I'd freak out if I was covered in cat hair. But! I like dogs, I always have. So, if I were to get a dog, which I will in the not too distant future, I'm getting a maltzer.

These amazing little creatures are a mix between the (you guessed it) maltese and shnauzer. Seriously, how cute is this?! The best thing about these dogs is that 1. They DON'T shed and 2. They grow to weigh up to 7lbs! My only fear would be stepping on one lol. :( *pouts*

Anyone got $700 so I can buy a dog? Hehe.

Aquarius

Ahh yes, the moon is in Aquarius. Just kidding, I have no idea what that means. I am an Aquarius though, so I thought since we are in the err Aquarius time lol I don't know how you call it, I'd provide you with a brief insight to we amazing creatures.

Traits:

Friendly and humanitarian, Honest and loyal

Original and inventive, Independent and intellectual.

Not-so-great qualities:

Intractable and contrary, Perverse and unpredictable, Unemotional and detached

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.
Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.
They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.
Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.

They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.
Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.

LIKES
Fighting for Causes
Dreaming and Planning for the Future
Thinking of the Past
Good Companions
Having Fun
DISLIKES
Full of Air Promises
Excessive Loneliness
The Ordinary
Imitations
Idealistic

Info from: http://www.astrology-online.com/aquarius.htm

Guiltly Pleasures

I think we all have bands or music that we hate, but secretly like at the same time. Mine for example...I can't stand bands like 3 Doors Down or Nickelback, simply because their music is so hmm how do I say this...generic? Yes, it's just washed up, commercial, mainstream rock that's easy to sing along with but doesn't impress anyone. Seriously, who do they think they're fooling?

I can't help it though, everytime I hear a song of theirs come on, I have to sing along to it, I won't even change the radio. These are bands I'd NEVER see in concert, bands you'll never catch on my Zune nor any playlist of mine, but I know all their single's lyrics.

Lol, oh well, I guess we all have these.

It's Frustrating

I can't shake this lethargy, it's overwhelming. That and my tummy still hurts. Igh.

So, my birthday is coming up and I'm already in birthday party planning mode. It makes me feel kinda crappy since I should be planning my mom's birthday first (it's a week before mine) but my sister decided we should have a party for her and didn't bother with my birthday celebration so I'm letting her take the reigns on my mom's birthday and moving forward with mine.

It should be good. 26, a milestone. For some reason it feels more definitive than 25 and I have no idea why. It feels almost like there's no turning back, although technically you can NEVER turn back time lol.

I wonder what it means.