Outsider

It's weird how I always feel self concious about writing a blog, a blog that no one reads mind you, but I hold nothing back on a Facebook post. Why is that?

Perhaps because this is a more composed medium, as opposed to errant thoughts that I so casually throw out there?

It's gotten to the point where people have told me in the last few days that I'm always on Facebook, or that I post too much, and even though they're right, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

But tell me to sit in front of this one empty screen with editing tools, an orange icon that says, "Publish Post" and a blinking cursor that seems to pulse faster, impatiently waiting for me to fill it's unlimited amount of space with whatever stupidity I feel like writing...and I choke.

Why is that?

Nothing, just some words to describe how I feel.

I look for you in color daydreams
I look for you in lovers' arms after late night hours set in

and when the lines blur my confidence soars high
my self respect sinks low

No matter who I'm with, I call to you.

So hazy, you're a mist that never sets in.
A 3am phone call, but an empty heart's length away

You keep me chained to you
calling out to me with the loving words that feed my soul
Yet like a pet tied to a post, my chain is never long enough to reach my goal.

I yearn for you to hold me,
for you to call me yours.
I feel you in my being,
your taste still lingers on my tongue

Quiet.

I thought I felt like blogging, but not so much anymore. I wish I could stop thinking, just lay still and listen to myself breathe. You know, like when you go underwater, minus the running thoughts in my head. Everything's muffled underwater. I could live with that.

Intricate Balance and The Sit Around and Wait For Happiness

It's a wide known fact that when a part of your life is going great, the other one falls to pieces. Is this REALLY true? How many people feel that way?

Although my love life (yes, I now have one) is going marvelously well, I have been a bit disappointed with my work life lately. It's not so much for the obvious reasons, but BECAUSE of all those reasons and so many more that have been there so long, I am slowly but surely falling out of love with my job. I've always felt that if you're not happy with what you're doing and not going to work with a positive mindset, it's not worth it at all.

My lifestyle might change fairly soon, I just wish it wasn't for the obvious circumstances, and if I do move on, I want it to be with no regrets or bitter memories of my last four years.

Wish me luck. As they say, "I love you but I'm not IN love with U."

Blaaagghhhhh!

I'm a terrible blogger. I have no consistency whatsoever. Much like other things in my life. I can't begin a project and end it. I've never gone on a diet, given up something for lent, shit! I haven't even attempted to quit smoking because I know I won't do it.

Is there something wrong with me? I can't commit to anything at all.

It scares me though. I've just begun my first real relationship in 6 years. Six years! Who the hell stays single for that long?! Lol. I honestly thought it was going to be very hard to come to terms with the fact that even though I'm not married nor have kids, I need to be considerate of someone else when I get the whim to just off and do something. Luckily, nothing's changed so far. I thank my lucky stars that not only is my boyfriend everything I've ever wanted:
(Intelligent, witty, responsible, motivated, not jealous), but he doesn't pressure me at all.

I wonder if it's because I laid the rules out extremely clear before we went into this, or if he's the same as me. In any event, it's working out very well so far and even though I get ahead of myself sometimes, thinking I'm gonna blow it cuz I'm just not good at being in a relationship, the fact that he's such a good guy makes me not worry about it too much.

This is a good thing, and even though I am the most noncommitted person I know, I have a really good feeling about him.

Happy Monday!

At least for me it is.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank God for giving me another day of life and for giving me the strength to wake up each morning with a smile on my face and looking forward to the day. I'd also like to thank Him for giving me the ability to love, understand and have gratitude for my situations/life.

I guess the times I see this most is how much my family and coworkers dislike what their doing and let it take on a negative toll. Why can't we try to see the bright side of things?

Don't get me wrong I'm not always a little ray of sunshine, I have my days just like anyone else, but I'm quick to stop and think of the good things, and I wish I could get people to see that as well.

Happy Monday to everyone, make the best of your situation, thank God even for the little things, and always remember there's always someone who has it worse than you and wishes that for a second they could have your blessings.

~Edie

Summer Update: The Procrastinator Returns!

Sooo guess what?! I finally got a dog!!! I've had my baby for 3 months now and he is just an adorable little thing!!!!





Meet Rhett Butler, the Schnauzer pup! Rhett loves frolicking outside in the backyard, chewing on grandma's flowers and nipping on his momma every chance he gets! Seriously, he only bites MY hands and no one elses, I can't get him to stop! Lol, I need to learn ASAP before it becomes more painful :S


So whate else is new ? Of course!!!! Summer is here!!!! The best thing about summer guys is the concerts and the blockbuster movies that actually make us welcome the scorching Laredo heat!

What to expect this year?! We've got the all too anticipated Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince as well as Transformers 2!!!!! On the concert side, Coldplay *yes you heard right* COLDPLAY is coming to San Antonio this week and Laredo will finally get a good dose of rock that wasn't hot in the 70s! Lol no offense to classic rock, I just feel we need more variety! Staind will be rocking the LEC along with Chevelle, Shinedown, and another band I can't remember. Either way, it's going to be as the kids say...EPIC!

The big tour I'm looking forward to this summer is Tool!!!!! Tool will be at the ATT Center in San Antonio this 24th of July! I was more than privileged to see A Perfect Circle twice before they broke up but this will be my first Tool experience and I can't wait for it!!!!

I'll also be attending the Incubus summer in August in Dallas, which means an even bigger roadtrip and more memories to come!

Stay tuned, I'll make a sincere effort to update more often!


XoXo,

Edie